From the minute the door opens, you know something is wrong. But when you ask your child what happened at school, she says, "Oh, nothing" and heads to her room.

What can you do to get your child to open up and talk about what is bothering her? Here are a few techniques to try:

• Reflect what you see. "You seem sad today. Anything happen at school?"
• Try to avoid being judgmental. Don't say things like, "You can't really feel bad about a silly thing like that."
• Help label your child's feelings. "That must have made you pretty disappointed."
• Let your child know you understand her feelings. "I can imagine how crummy you felt when Madison said that."
• Share an experience of your own. It can be good for your child to know that you have had similar experiences. "Did I ever tell you about the time my best friend in school stopped speaking to me for a week?"

Reprinted with permission from the October 2009 issue of Parents make the difference!® (Elementary School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2009 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Deborah Stipek and Kathy Seal, Motivated Minds: Raising Children to Love Learning, ISBN: 0-805-06395-1 (Owl Books, a division of Henry Holt and Company, www.henryholt.com).